Overcoming Bad Parenting aka Because I Said So

Okay.. so this post is not directly related to education, but I was so disgusted I had to vent somewhere.

So I decided to go to a local costume store to get something for "Crazy Hair Day". I love participating in our school spirit week, and as I waited to get to the counter, a boy at the tender age of about 4 or 5 caught my eye. as his mother was with the cashier, this young cherub was yelling "I want candy! I want candy!"
I am thinking to myself, "the last thing little angel boy over here needs is more candy." The mother tells him that he cannot have it now, but maybe later. Baby new year is still not so politely requesting candy. Once again, mom says no, but there is doubt in her voice, She has begun what I will call.... "the negotiation." This goes on for about another minute, with sunshine walking a 20 foot exploration around the vicinity of the cashier looking for different candies and submitting them for approval. Finally, spineless mommy asks the cashier how much the two candy items are and agrees to purchase them. She looks at me, we lock eyes, and she realizes that I have been watching the standoff. I mumble the word "shmuck" to her... and I can feel her embarrassment as the looks to the floor. They leave, and junior has triumphed.
He has learned to manipulate. He has learned that Mom is not an absolute authority. He has learned that he can be indulged if he continues this behavior. He has learned that he can have and do whatever he wants.
When angel boy walks into a classroom, he might not find these lessons hold true. This surely may cause him frustration, social concerns with other children, and criticism from his teachers. I know that if he comes to my classroom with that, it will be dealt with so fast he won't even know what's happening.
Parents often ask me "How do you get Xxxxxxx to do what you say? He/she always gives me a problem!" I tell them it is because I am not mom or dad. There is no negotiation. I am the authority and my rules apply. I urge my students to speak up when they disagree, but they must do so in a respectful way. Growing up, my mother would often say to me "because I said so", and you know what... that was a good enough reason. I did try to negotiate much... for if I did, there would be consequences.
As a parent, I am sure to follow through with consequences as a result of my kids' actions. These can be both good and bad. My kids know that if I say I will do something, I will do it. Good or bad.
As a teacher, we are being asked to do more to mold the character of our classroom population. This is not a knock on parents as a whole. Our lives often demand dual income families, single parent households, etc. Having said that... we as parents must make sure that the time we do spend with our children presents a positive model for behavior. If we show our kids that a behavior is okay with a reward (even if it is cute!), they will grow up doing it.
Sometimes the right thing to do is inconvenient, and sometimes it is okay to let your child scream bloody murder in a store so that he or she does NOT get their way.
Why? Because I said so...

Making the Grade as a Teacher

I remember my dad as a Little League coach. I don't think our team was that great, but it didn't matter. It was all about fun. We would practice drills and techniques, and all became better players through the activities.

Today there is so much talk about teacher accountability. It sure does sound great on paper. We rate high schools based on their performance on state tests, graduation rates, and the percentage that go on to college. Why do we do that? It's easy! It's quantitative. It makes sense numerically. You can even plot it on a line graph.

If we rate schools, some want to rate teachers. My question is: How? When the state changes the cut scores for who knows why making year to year comparisons inconclusive? How about when your classroom population (and thus performance levels) change year to year?

If we base the measure of an educator solely on the numbers, we miss out on the qualitative attributes. A child that learns to feel good about himself or herself because of that teacher. A child that believes in themselves because of that teacher. The child that makes a great deal of progress but is still below grade level. The child that opens up socially and begins to make close friends. The child that learns to work as a team with his or her friends or classmates. The child that smiles and looks forward to school. I could go on and on. Those don't show up on a data report, and you would be hard pressed to crunch them in a data warehouse, but they are as valid as any other performance indicator.

I also wonder about something else. I am an elementary classroom teacher, so let's say that some kind of standardized test in the subjects that I teach (see the previous blog "Generally Speaking") would be used to gauge my effectiveness. For secondary teachers, they would use state tests or Regents for their respective subjects. What about guidance counselors? Are they exempt? Are they the ones responsible for graduation rates and continuing education rates? What about special area teachers like Art, Music, Physical Education, etc? Should we see how we their kids draw, sing, and how many push ups they can do? It sounds silly, but it makes me think!

What about support services? How would one rate the effectiveness of an ESL teacher? A reading teacher? Speech teacher? Occupational therapist? What about resource room teachers? Do they share the accolades or blame for their assigned students with the classroom or subject area teachers? Are they exempt? Too many gray areas for me. You can't just hold one group of educators accountable and not go near the others. It simply isn't fair.

If that were the case and I was being judged by student performance, why would I want a class of anything but the higher achievers? For the past few years, I have been the classroom teacher part of an inclusion and now a collaborative coteach class. Should I not want this assignment because of students that might be performing below grade level? What about if they cannot make what some power that be considers "adequate yearly progress"???

Of course not. I watch in awe as my kids succeed. They do it in so many ways, and not always is there a numerical grade to show for. I don't want a class of 'high achievers'... I want students ready to learn, create, and have fun. I want them to smile whenever they walk in the door and feel valuable as they contribute throughout the day. I want students that take risks and stand tall even when they fall short of their goals. I want students that come back after they have left my classroom just to say hello. I want students that recall fondly memories and achievements that happened within the walls of our classroom. Does that show up on a line graph?

Teaching is a great career and the rewards are so unbelievable. I get to work with some of the greatest kids out there. I get to work with some of the greatest education professionals in the world, and I am very grateful. The challenges that we face we must face together without playing the blame game. If we are to really prepare our students for the world of tomorrow, perhaps we need to finally stop pointing fingers and placing blame. Perhaps we need to start a real dialogue involving teachers, administrators, parents, and maybe even some politicians to figure out what skills are needed, what is outdated, and the resources that need to get there.